It’s been seven years since moviegoers last saw Meg Ryan on the big screen. America’s favorite romantic-comedy actress had been performing nonstop since she was 20 years old; so, much like Renée Zellweger, she took a break from making films to raise her two children and recharge. Now, 34 years and nearly 40 films after her movie debut, Ryan is returning to Hollywood with a new identity—not as an actress, but as a filmmaker.

For the first time, Ryan has stepped behind the camera for a feature called Ithaca. “It was one of the hardest things I have done in my career. It takes so much of you—but at the same time it was really fun,” she said. “I didn’t always want to direct, but this was the story that I had to tell.”

Ryan sat down with Vanity Fair on Monday evening at New York City’s NeueHouse after participating in a Q&A screening moderated by her Addicted to Love director Griffin Dunne. The 54-year-old is still charming as ever, but contemplative when discussing her latest film, a coming-of-age drama she considers to one of the most important projects of her prolific career.

Based on William Saroyan’s 1943 novel The Human Comedy, Ryan directs herself as a widowed mother of four children in 1942. When her oldest son—portrayed by Ryan’s real-life son, Jack Quaid—is drafted to fight in World War II, her 14-year-old son, Homer (newcomer Alex Neustaedter), suddenly finds himself the man of the family. He gets a job as a telegram messenger to help make ends meet and soon discovers that delivering letters to the people of Ithaca means bringing love, pain, and death with him.

“I read the book when I was getting divorced [from Dennis Quaid],” Ryan recalls. “My son was about eight years old, and I got that intense feeling of, how do you keep your kid safe? Horrible and tragic things happen, and it’s impossible to keep the hurt away from the people you love. As a mom, I could really relate to the material.”

Filming in the town of Petersburg, Virginia in the summer of 2014 was challenging but rewarding for Ryan. “I don’t know how people do it when they are younger, because I felt like every single thing that I have done as a person in my life—being a mom, handling a renovation, washing the dishes, writing a bad script—has mattered, and has prepared me to direct this movie,” she said. “I had to call on so many different parts of myself to talk to all these different types of artists that came together to make this movie.”

Her experience as an actress also helped her tremendously. Ryan knew it was up to her to create a safe and happy work environment for her actors, especially since about 75 percent of the film’s cast had never made a movie before. Many of them were child actors as well. “The hair and makeup trailer is the first stop for actors and from experience, you can go in happy and come out very paranoid or sad,” she explained. “So I wanted it to be like Schrafft’s," an old chain of restaurant-slash-candy shops.

Directing her son Jack, 24, in the movie was one task that didn’t require much effort. “It’s like telling him, ‘Eat your dinner,’” she joked. “He’s always worked really hard, so I felt like he was another actor on the set rather than my son.”

Another familiar face in the film is Tom Hanks, who plays Ryan’s late husband. This marks the duo’s fourth on-screen collaboration: they first appeared together in the 1990 comedy Joe Versus the Volcano, then in 1993 for Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail in 1998. “What a solid he did me, right?” Ryan said. “Tom shot for about half a day and at the end of our time together, he calls the crew together and he goes, ‘Okay, we’ve gotten very close these past 10 hours and we now know each other really well. And I just want to thank you for being there for my friend Meg.’ How can you not love him?”

The longtime pals don’t see each other often, but their friendship remains strong: “I really admire him,” said Ryan. “He’s just easy to be around, and that’s a big compliment because he’s so smart. He’s kind and he gets people. He didn’t have to do this movie. He didn’t have to come all the way to Virginia for half of a day, but he did. For that, I’m so grateful to him.”

As the film’s September 9 release date approaches, Ryan is stepping back into the spotlight to promote Ithaca. She’s been participating in Q&A sessions at various film festivals—and for the first time in years, she appeared on national television by presenting at the Tony Awards last Sunday. The actress admits that the attention that comes with being an artist is not her forte.

“I am a terrible celebrity,” Ryan confesses. “If I started my career today, I wouldn’t have a chance. It’s a totally different experience. Social media has changed things. It’s so vast and big. I couldn’t handle the constant attention and the judging—but some aspects of social media are wonderful. People can speak directly to their audience, and they don’t have to get interpreted. That’s pretty great.”

At least New York City affords her some degree of normalcy. “I don’t feel like I have quotes around myself and labeled as a celebrity when I’m walking around during the day. I can be myself,” Ryan said. “With New Yorkers, I’m talking about how the weather sucks or how cool that parade was and I feel really proud of that. I’m a citizen, and I didn’t have to give up my life.”

But Ryan’s also not looking to take another break anytime soon. Instead, she’s already searching for her next directing project. “Once you do it, you get the bug,” she said. “I like the behind-the-scenes thing. I really do. Acting for a while was really fun and it still is—but directing is something even more.”